Carnivals

Its fascinating really, the idea of bliss.
of happiness.
of bright lights, vibrant colors, and surreal emotions all circulating together, sporadically dancing inside all of the lit up eyes that gawk at this mesmerizing beauty, who eagerly take countless steps on uneven dirt that flies effortlessly into their summertime sandals.

Carnivals.

I have this huge fascination with them. I am so intrigued with the invention of traveling rides that only exist to ensure “fun” to all of the many lives that come inside the silver gates of entertainment.

I had the luxury of going to the carnival multiple times this past week. No doubt I had a grand ‘ol time, flying high, screaming loud, and smiling all kinds of crazy but I had this intense feeling that I could not shake. As much as I don’t like change, or the newness of various emotions, I thoroughly welcomed this feeling I had for it made me feel so different, so bold, and as cliché as it sounds, so unbelievably alive.

Yes, I might have been under the influence of illegal substances, but all I could say as I was spinning around and around and around was “this is so much fun! I am having so much fun!” Every ride I went on, every person I saw, e v e r y t h I n g made me smile.

I was able to ride on the huge slide ride, the one where you get a peanut bag and walk up a million stairs. I remember my papa taking me to carnivals when I was little and I loved that ride more than anything. It bought back so many childlike memories as well as childlike behavior that I will refrain from mentioning.

As I was leaving the carousel ride, I saw something that I will never forget. The feeling I had, the beauty I witnessed, god, it was just so incredible. I saw this woman sitting on a lit up child’s ride. Bright colors everywhere, advertising happiness and “fun” once again. She was sitting on a red car, reading a book. How interesting right? A carnival worker surrounded by all of these colors, all of these happy people, and here she is, perfectly content reading a book, focusing on the text that circulates inside her mind. She was able to mentally connect with something while still being part of something glorious.

I took a picture of her.
I’m sure she thought I was weird, but I needed to remember her. I needed to remember that moment because it was in that moment that the past didn’t matter, the issues of the present vanished, and the uncertainty of the future ceased to exist. All that mattered was that this woman, whoever she was, was involved with something that mattered to her. And in that moment she was infinite. The star lit sky that watched over us was infinite. In that moment, and right now in this one, I am infinite.