Advantages

We took advantage of our advantages.
We had it made
we had it good
you knew me I knew you
and that was enough.
We were enough.

But why is hindsight the only one telling me this?
Why didn’t we feel at at the time?
Believe it while we were in the present?

But now the present is lost and the past is all that remains.
A bitter taste
a vicious soul
a haunting memory
a destructive voice
that lives on
oh how it lives
they thrive on
in me
in you
in our hidden time capsule of us.

Now here I am
and most importantly, there you are.
We’re separate.
Separate in our beds
separate in our heads.

Where is my head?
Where do my thoughts gravitate?
Where do my footsteps lead too now that your face isn’t at the finish line?

Advantages.
Advantages.
Advances and successes.
Disadvantages and setbacks.

Your hand is the only one that fits perfectly in mine.
Your lips are the only ones that give kissing its wholesome significance.
Your touch is the only one that gives the term “breathless” it’s true value.
Your voice is the only one that sings me gracefully into blissful dreams of happiness.
you are the only one.
you are the only one.

I thought you never compared
but now I know that no one will ever compare to you.
to us.
Nothing.
No one.

So tell me dear, where do I go from here?
Where should I place my lingering thoughts?
Who will replace my resonating desires?
What should I do with my dazed stares that only see your brilliantly perfect smile?

Tell me.
How can this advantage be anything less than a painful disadvantage?

Say something.
Say anything (you never had any problem voicing your thoughts – I miss that.)
Explore your thoughts (I could always read your good intentions – I need that)
Let your hands explore (you always had an intriguing way with my body – I crave that)
Use those piercing eyes (They always saw right through me – I want that)
Hold me tight (You know it’s where I belong)
Say goodbye (We both know you never meant it. Not even once)
Profess your love (Its lost its substance)
Tell me you’re sorry (It’ll never be the same)
Turn around and walk away (we’re too childish for such realness and beauty)

Is there a chance for redemption?
Is there hope for salvation?

Second chances.
Third, fourth, and fifth chances.
numbers have lost their meaning.
We have lost our meaning.
Our purpose.

Wherever you go.
What ever you do.
Whoever you are.
Whoever you’re with.
I’ll always be inside you, waiting for a chance to surface again.